郝明義那一百零八天的離奇生死經歷之二

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相信醫生、以信仰為助力
那段日子，宗教信仰對他們夫婦發揮了極大的幫助。潛心修佛多年的郝明義，唯有在誦讀經文時，才能讓自己摒除雜念，靜下心來。於是，他也教導妻子念誦六字大明咒，來排遣心中的恐懼。
可是J在醫院裡，數度感覺到有一股看不到的神秘力量在干擾著她。同時，又多次看見菩薩帶來讓她寬心安定的訊息。魔擾、佛助的交相出現，使得J的大好大壞，一日數變，連醫療團隊都無法理解，不能置信，卻又是眼睜睜看著這些事情發生。

這樣數度來回折騰，J的情況才獲得改善，穩定下來，也在耶誕夜出院回家。郝明義和家人都不知道，那只是一次中場休息，接下來，他們還有硬仗要打。

數月之後，J再度入院。有了上一次的經驗，郝明義決定放棄命理、占卜、靈療等路徑，以免徒亂方寸。反而回過頭來，從「自體免疫」問題上，探求解答。

他說，J第一次生病，整個過程的確是波濤洶湧，烏雲間卻見彩虹。可是有感於第一次靠著有形的人去想無形的事，仍有「力有未逮」之處，J第二次生病入院，他選擇「依法不依人」，放棄尋求其他系統的協助，從此他們彷如陷入黑洞，沒有任何訊息的提示，景況更是危急。

這中間周折依然，後來證明「相信醫生」、以信仰為助力，果然讓整個情況好轉，J已於9月中返家調養。

過去這一年，他們一家人有如在驚濤駭浪中翻騰，越過一個又一個浪頭，終於轉進風平浪靜的海岸。

「這一年，對我們來說，深具意義。」他更深切體會到「人有旦夕禍福」這句話的意涵，因而決定寫下這段奇特的故事，提醒大家注意自體免疫疾病已是普遍的現代病，過去眾人不了解這個病，以訛傳訛，病急亂投醫，可能後果不堪設想。

第二件想提醒的是醫源性問題。其實，J最早就醫時，醫師已從病癥發現了可能是自體免疫疾病，卻因為對病人及家屬少了解釋與關懷，導致後來幾乎發生致命的危險。

時間拉開了距離，郝明義沈潛，重新整理心情，想起以前寫過一篇文章「信心不是幫你從黑暗走向光明的」，他寫著：「與其說信心是幫我們從黑暗走向光明，不如說信心是幫我們從一個黑暗走進另一個更深的黑暗。」「只有當我們從一個黑暗走進另一個更深的黑暗，從伸手不見五指的黑暗，走進連時間都要靜止的黑暗時，我們才體會得到信心這盞手邊唯一的小燈，是我們全部的指引。」

對郝明義來說，佛法就是他的那盞小燈。而每個人，都會有屬於自己的那盞小燈。

[two04260]

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